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My being suffers, or rather is troubled. So I write, to elude and vanquish those things that are not spiritual. I write because there is no real understanding by those who call themselves Christians. I write to learn....... of myself. Follow me if you like, if you dare. I know no one so I have no need to lie, only truth and honesty will prevail here, whether about me or others in my life or in my past. Most of all, I hope that true understanding is ignited. I'd like people to leave with questions, and in turn question their pastors and spiritual shepherds. Not to cause confusion, but to understand more, about God and themselves.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

I spoke with my son this past Monday! 12-22-11

So I'm at home and I've been slaving over the grill with this turkey.

S/N- Y'all missed out on some good bird!

And whilst I'm carving up the bird (a technique I only learned form Youtube within 5 minutes or so), I get a call that says "restricted". So I'm  thinking it's my Uncle calling me. Maybe my Aunt. I don't know. I just know that it can't be my son, after all they won't let me have any contact with him. So I say "Helloooo" and the response is "Hi Daddy". So I'm like "Huh? I know someone is messing with me". So I say yet again "Hello?" And response. "Hi Daddy" It was my Little Dude!! We talked for about 30 minutes or so. It was hard hearing/understanding him. I think part way they were driving home and the window was down, then when they got home, She told him to put the phone to his mouth, then there was the fact that he would cross between jibber jabber and clean english, as any kid his age would do. I didn't care. That was my son on the line and I was gonna listen to it all!! Here's what I did understand though. "SANTA CLAUSE DIDN'T GET ME ANYTHING FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!!" Haha. And Him- "Where do you live?" Me- "I live in GA." Him-"I wanna see you in GA Daddy" Yea that one made me feel good.

So here's what's crazy. This fast has been all about me. I'm doing my best to put God first and limit drastically thoughts about my son and Wife. It's not that I don't care for them, but I feel as though I put them before Him to often with my thoughts. Wondering what he's doing, what's he learning, does he miss me, etc... And for her, why won't she let me speak with him, is her mother blocking the calls and not notifying Her that I called for our son, I've only talked to him 4 times this year, why don't I have her number instead of her mother's, I am her Baby Daddy after all, our son is my and her responsibility, etc......Anyway, I've been focusing on God rather than my feeling and emotions of them. It's almost as if I've been rewarded for doing so.

I thank God for hearing. If I couldn't hear, I would not have been able to hear my son say "Daddy", or "I wanna see you in GA".
Y'all be good, and be Christian.

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