So I'm on my 10th day of my fast and it ends on March 12th. It seems as though it's the hardest fast that I've done. Before I never really had an issue of fighting off the urge to go out and buy a burger, or stop by and get a taco. But this one is different. I've never really had an issue of denying myself food to the point of where it was a struggle. But this one is serious! Before, it was more like, I knew what foods I wasn't going to eat, and I was cool with it. This time, I have to reprimand myself or encourage myself or put it out of my mind somehow.
I've had one dream so far. I realized when I woke up that I've had it before, except this one was more detailed and had more scenes, I just can't figure it out though.
There's one thing I know. Anything of value, you have to fight and struggle for. Spiritually speaking, anything you strive for, the enemy will do whatever he can to destroy you. He's working hard to stop me on my fast. I've got 90 more days left.
May the Strength of our Father in heaven be with me forever and always. I ask that He won't let me falter in my progress towards Him. I can't fail Him now. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Y'all be good, and be Christians.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
The House- The Blessing 12-6-2011
Ok so the house isn't all that "Wow!" on the outside, but the inside is pretty decent. In the end, you live inside a house, not the outside. The inside needs to be better, at least in my view, since the inside is actually lived in. The outside can always be fixed. But how is it a blessing?
We had been looking for a house for the past month to two months. We found some great leads, but there was always something that didn't fit us. Too high an amount, not enough rooms, bad area, etc.. The majority of our things had been moved to storage, so we are sleeping on the floors, only a few pots and pans to cook with. Then what happens? The plumbing goes! You plunge the toilet and the stuff comes out of the tub. Everyone say it with me! "EWWW! NASTY!" So we spend a good week or two making trips to the water valve at the street shutting it off, partly due to the fact that the kitchen faucet is constantly dripping. Oh yea, my personal gripe. I had no "room" of my own so I slept in the family room in the back. Problem is that there was no door, only a curtain. A curtain that my little sister would just go through if she were bored to see what I was doing. A curtain that my Moms would just walk through looking for something of hers in my room since the majority of her things were in there. Can't someone knock?! Anyway, we get a letter in the mail that says that we have to move out by some date, and most of us move out that night. We spend the next 2-3 weeks basically homeless in my mind. I mean we had places we could crash at, but nothing of own. Then one Saturday night, my Moms has me to buy a Sunday paper. She wakes up Sunday morning and makes calls. She got to the, I believe it was the second call, and it was like everything fit together. Conversation. Price. Rooms. We ended up looking at the house that day and put money down on it I believe that same day. Anyway long story short, we got the house. And it seems to fit us. The plan is that this would be a transitional house for the next one. Meaning we don't plan on living here for the rest of our lives, which is another reason why it's not so important how the outside looks. We would stay here a good year, two at most, then move on to something better.
I thank God for this house. I can say that it is true. He never left us. He was with us always. He got us this house that we feel comfortable in. We feel at home. Oh and yes, there's a door to my room. Hehe.
May the Spirit of Christ dwell with this family and within this home, this house. May His Spirit provide us peace and love, not just to those who live here, but to those who walk through it's doors, those who look upon it, those who drive by it, those who walk by it. May the Spirit of Christ continue to strengthen and quicken our spiritual spirits allowing us to stand upright in the name of Jesus, so that no wrinkle may be found among us. Let all those who would judge us be chastised according to His judgment, but more importantly, as He sees fit, let them be given understanding. Let them be allowed to grow in Christ. Let them be able to see the good and positive, and not the bad and negative. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
We had been looking for a house for the past month to two months. We found some great leads, but there was always something that didn't fit us. Too high an amount, not enough rooms, bad area, etc.. The majority of our things had been moved to storage, so we are sleeping on the floors, only a few pots and pans to cook with. Then what happens? The plumbing goes! You plunge the toilet and the stuff comes out of the tub. Everyone say it with me! "EWWW! NASTY!" So we spend a good week or two making trips to the water valve at the street shutting it off, partly due to the fact that the kitchen faucet is constantly dripping. Oh yea, my personal gripe. I had no "room" of my own so I slept in the family room in the back. Problem is that there was no door, only a curtain. A curtain that my little sister would just go through if she were bored to see what I was doing. A curtain that my Moms would just walk through looking for something of hers in my room since the majority of her things were in there. Can't someone knock?! Anyway, we get a letter in the mail that says that we have to move out by some date, and most of us move out that night. We spend the next 2-3 weeks basically homeless in my mind. I mean we had places we could crash at, but nothing of own. Then one Saturday night, my Moms has me to buy a Sunday paper. She wakes up Sunday morning and makes calls. She got to the, I believe it was the second call, and it was like everything fit together. Conversation. Price. Rooms. We ended up looking at the house that day and put money down on it I believe that same day. Anyway long story short, we got the house. And it seems to fit us. The plan is that this would be a transitional house for the next one. Meaning we don't plan on living here for the rest of our lives, which is another reason why it's not so important how the outside looks. We would stay here a good year, two at most, then move on to something better.
I thank God for this house. I can say that it is true. He never left us. He was with us always. He got us this house that we feel comfortable in. We feel at home. Oh and yes, there's a door to my room. Hehe.
May the Spirit of Christ dwell with this family and within this home, this house. May His Spirit provide us peace and love, not just to those who live here, but to those who walk through it's doors, those who look upon it, those who drive by it, those who walk by it. May the Spirit of Christ continue to strengthen and quicken our spiritual spirits allowing us to stand upright in the name of Jesus, so that no wrinkle may be found among us. Let all those who would judge us be chastised according to His judgment, but more importantly, as He sees fit, let them be given understanding. Let them be allowed to grow in Christ. Let them be able to see the good and positive, and not the bad and negative. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Moving 12-6-2011
It's been a crazy month, month and a half or so! Our house went into foreclosure, as many others around the nation, so we've had to move. But through this whole process I've been generally calm, generally.
It's hard moving. What made it even harder for others is that we had no idea where we would be moving to. o we were literally moving out, but didn't have anywhere to move to. We packed up our things and put them into storage, leaving them there until we would find someplace to go. So here's a few things I realized or understood during this transition.
If God takes care of His animals out in the wild, won't He take care of us?
Matthew 6:25-26
25Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
26Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they
My trust in God as to what would happen to us grew with this scripture. I knew not where we would go, or where we would live, but I knew that God would be with us always. He would not send us somewhere we couldn't handle, or somewhere we would be in danger. He would send us where we needed to be, whether it be for our sakes, or the sake of others watching on. And it would be good, and very good in His sight.
The other is more of a realization that I had. I'm blessed. I'm so blessed that I had more than I needed. In the process of gathering all of your belongings, you need to bag it or box it. It is then that you see how much of something you have. I filled a 13 gallon white trash bag with all shoes that I owned (other than the pair I was wearing), yet I only have one pair of feet. Obviously every pair has a purpose, but how often do I wear each pair? Did I necessarily NEED each pair? I had white socks galore, with a good and necessary reason, yet still I owned a lot of white socks. I owned a bunch of shirts, khakis, pants, ties, shorts and whatever else that I had not worn in a while. That's how blessed I was. I didn't even realize it. SO in going through all this, I decided I didn't need everything. So I went through it all and condensed my, I believe four bags of clothes to one. Everything in the one bag. The pairs of shoes I owned I condensed to maybe four pair.
We live our lives knowing that we are blessed, yet unable to see how we are sometimes. I'll admit it is hard to see the little things, but I guess as Christians, we have to train ourselves to see those little things.
So we did in fact move into a new house. I won't lie to you, it doesn't look all that great on the outside. But it does look better on the inside. This house is a blessing. I'll tell you why in the next post God willing.
May our Father in heaven continue to bless us as He sees fit, according to our sins and our goodness. May our outward showing and proclaiming as Christians be reflective of His genuine residence within us, and not just idle words and actions we say and do to fit in. May He strengthen us our spiritual minds, ever guided to Him and His ways so that one day we may hear "Well done my good and faithful servant". In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
It's hard moving. What made it even harder for others is that we had no idea where we would be moving to. o we were literally moving out, but didn't have anywhere to move to. We packed up our things and put them into storage, leaving them there until we would find someplace to go. So here's a few things I realized or understood during this transition.
If God takes care of His animals out in the wild, won't He take care of us?
Matthew 6:25-26
25Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
26Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they
My trust in God as to what would happen to us grew with this scripture. I knew not where we would go, or where we would live, but I knew that God would be with us always. He would not send us somewhere we couldn't handle, or somewhere we would be in danger. He would send us where we needed to be, whether it be for our sakes, or the sake of others watching on. And it would be good, and very good in His sight.
The other is more of a realization that I had. I'm blessed. I'm so blessed that I had more than I needed. In the process of gathering all of your belongings, you need to bag it or box it. It is then that you see how much of something you have. I filled a 13 gallon white trash bag with all shoes that I owned (other than the pair I was wearing), yet I only have one pair of feet. Obviously every pair has a purpose, but how often do I wear each pair? Did I necessarily NEED each pair? I had white socks galore, with a good and necessary reason, yet still I owned a lot of white socks. I owned a bunch of shirts, khakis, pants, ties, shorts and whatever else that I had not worn in a while. That's how blessed I was. I didn't even realize it. SO in going through all this, I decided I didn't need everything. So I went through it all and condensed my, I believe four bags of clothes to one. Everything in the one bag. The pairs of shoes I owned I condensed to maybe four pair.
We live our lives knowing that we are blessed, yet unable to see how we are sometimes. I'll admit it is hard to see the little things, but I guess as Christians, we have to train ourselves to see those little things.
So we did in fact move into a new house. I won't lie to you, it doesn't look all that great on the outside. But it does look better on the inside. This house is a blessing. I'll tell you why in the next post God willing.
May our Father in heaven continue to bless us as He sees fit, according to our sins and our goodness. May our outward showing and proclaiming as Christians be reflective of His genuine residence within us, and not just idle words and actions we say and do to fit in. May He strengthen us our spiritual minds, ever guided to Him and His ways so that one day we may hear "Well done my good and faithful servant". In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Fasting 11.10.11
So I made a commitment. I'm going to go on another fast God willing. I had already decided to go on one, but I had never decided on a date. I've decided on December 1st. Namely because I'll be fasting for 100 days, it's a date I can start with, and it gives me a specific day to be prepared for. I call it Fasting and Fishing.
So why am I fasting?
The majority of my fasts from before included my Ex in some way, like being able to forgive her genuinely. I have to be selfish with this one however. I have to live for God with or without her. Even though shes still treating me like some stranger, even though she and her family refuse to allow me even phone contact with my son, I still have to live for God. I guess in a way I'm saying that I'm not going to let her hold me back. She still controls me even though she lives in Phoenix and hasn't spoken to me in a good year or so. I'm walking around all frustrated at her actions, at the actions of her parents who make themselves to be such good Christians, a role I believed in, and yet in doing so I'm leaving no room for God. This has to end. I need release. God had enough grace for me to wake me up, I think I need to serve Him and give Him thanks. So I need to get rid of more sins, learn about other sins I'm committing and don't yet realize I'm committing them. Most importantly, I need to be stronger spiritually.
Now I'm not broadcasting this as if to say "Look at me look at me!" as the Pharisees did, but more to recognize my faults and my goals. I can assure you that I am riddled with sinner holes, of which I hope to have filled by the time I get off my fast.
I intend on doing a Daniel fast, no meats, wheat, sweets, fried foods such as french fries or chicken. Strictly fruits and vegetables, juices, and water. I will only allow myself fish since I plan on fishing during the course of the fast, which I more than likely will have fried. I haven't decided on a 3 day water fast to begin it though. That in itself is rough! First day is cool, second day is rough, third day is a little better than rough.
My Father in heaven knows the love that I carry for my Ex. Some days it's like we never even went through the divorce. He knows the love I have for my son, I long to hear him say "Daddy".
I've done a 60 day fast before, the spiritual plateau you reach when on one is crazy. I think it's different for everyone, in what you receive. In fact the experience may differ with each individual fast for a person. But for me, the last time I went on a long one, it was.......out of sight. I dreamed. I saw things. I promise you that butterflies flocked to me just about everyday and fluttered around me and landed on me. I received visions about my wife (at least I think so), it was like I knew what she was going to do to me in the future. I knew some of what she was going through emotionally right then even though she's in Phoenix and won't talk to me. God answered prayers, I mean opened a door that I just knew in a natural sense was impossible. Oh yea, fasting is worth it.
Anyway, I'm all talked out. Y'all be good and be Christians.
So why am I fasting?
The majority of my fasts from before included my Ex in some way, like being able to forgive her genuinely. I have to be selfish with this one however. I have to live for God with or without her. Even though shes still treating me like some stranger, even though she and her family refuse to allow me even phone contact with my son, I still have to live for God. I guess in a way I'm saying that I'm not going to let her hold me back. She still controls me even though she lives in Phoenix and hasn't spoken to me in a good year or so. I'm walking around all frustrated at her actions, at the actions of her parents who make themselves to be such good Christians, a role I believed in, and yet in doing so I'm leaving no room for God. This has to end. I need release. God had enough grace for me to wake me up, I think I need to serve Him and give Him thanks. So I need to get rid of more sins, learn about other sins I'm committing and don't yet realize I'm committing them. Most importantly, I need to be stronger spiritually.
Now I'm not broadcasting this as if to say "Look at me look at me!" as the Pharisees did, but more to recognize my faults and my goals. I can assure you that I am riddled with sinner holes, of which I hope to have filled by the time I get off my fast.
I intend on doing a Daniel fast, no meats, wheat, sweets, fried foods such as french fries or chicken. Strictly fruits and vegetables, juices, and water. I will only allow myself fish since I plan on fishing during the course of the fast, which I more than likely will have fried. I haven't decided on a 3 day water fast to begin it though. That in itself is rough! First day is cool, second day is rough, third day is a little better than rough.
My Father in heaven knows the love that I carry for my Ex. Some days it's like we never even went through the divorce. He knows the love I have for my son, I long to hear him say "Daddy".
I've done a 60 day fast before, the spiritual plateau you reach when on one is crazy. I think it's different for everyone, in what you receive. In fact the experience may differ with each individual fast for a person. But for me, the last time I went on a long one, it was.......out of sight. I dreamed. I saw things. I promise you that butterflies flocked to me just about everyday and fluttered around me and landed on me. I received visions about my wife (at least I think so), it was like I knew what she was going to do to me in the future. I knew some of what she was going through emotionally right then even though she's in Phoenix and won't talk to me. God answered prayers, I mean opened a door that I just knew in a natural sense was impossible. Oh yea, fasting is worth it.
Anyway, I'm all talked out. Y'all be good and be Christians.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)