So I made a commitment. I'm going to go on another fast God willing. I had already decided to go on one, but I had never decided on a date. I've decided on December 1st. Namely because I'll be fasting for 100 days, it's a date I can start with, and it gives me a specific day to be prepared for. I call it Fasting and Fishing.
So why am I fasting?
The majority of my fasts from before included my Ex in some way, like being able to forgive her genuinely. I have to be selfish with this one however. I have to live for God with or without her. Even though shes still treating me like some stranger, even though she and her family refuse to allow me even phone contact with my son, I still have to live for God. I guess in a way I'm saying that I'm not going to let her hold me back. She still controls me even though she lives in Phoenix and hasn't spoken to me in a good year or so. I'm walking around all frustrated at her actions, at the actions of her parents who make themselves to be such good Christians, a role I believed in, and yet in doing so I'm leaving no room for God. This has to end. I need release. God had enough grace for me to wake me up, I think I need to serve Him and give Him thanks. So I need to get rid of more sins, learn about other sins I'm committing and don't yet realize I'm committing them. Most importantly, I need to be stronger spiritually.
Now I'm not broadcasting this as if to say "Look at me look at me!" as the Pharisees did, but more to recognize my faults and my goals. I can assure you that I am riddled with sinner holes, of which I hope to have filled by the time I get off my fast.
I intend on doing a Daniel fast, no meats, wheat, sweets, fried foods such as french fries or chicken. Strictly fruits and vegetables, juices, and water. I will only allow myself fish since I plan on fishing during the course of the fast, which I more than likely will have fried. I haven't decided on a 3 day water fast to begin it though. That in itself is rough! First day is cool, second day is rough, third day is a little better than rough.
My Father in heaven knows the love that I carry for my Ex. Some days it's like we never even went through the divorce. He knows the love I have for my son, I long to hear him say "Daddy".
I've done a 60 day fast before, the spiritual plateau you reach when on one is crazy. I think it's different for everyone, in what you receive. In fact the experience may differ with each individual fast for a person. But for me, the last time I went on a long one, it was.......out of sight. I dreamed. I saw things. I promise you that butterflies flocked to me just about everyday and fluttered around me and landed on me. I received visions about my wife (at least I think so), it was like I knew what she was going to do to me in the future. I knew some of what she was going through emotionally right then even though she's in Phoenix and won't talk to me. God answered prayers, I mean opened a door that I just knew in a natural sense was impossible. Oh yea, fasting is worth it.
Anyway, I'm all talked out. Y'all be good and be Christians.
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