I actually have no problems with my B-I-L. He was always cool. We both seemed to have a mellow nonchalant way of being. I know he's stayed away from me during and after the divorce and I think it was more so a situation of him not wanting to involve himself, at least I'd like to think that, and of which I do appreciate. I harbor no anger towards him at all and do miss him and his wife tremendously. I actually looked up to him with much respect and awe. It was cool to go to the same school as he did and sort of tag a long in his footsteps so to speak, yet chasing my own dreams in the process. I hope he and his wife and family are doing good and I wish them nothing but success in their marriage. I would hate to see them go through a divorce as I and his sister did.
I'll include his wife as well, especially since she is part of him. I never really got to know her as well, yet she is cool. I'd have to say a match made when it comes to the both of them.
If I have another dream about them staring at me as they have in the previous dreams, I'll have no choice but to email him, which I don't really want to do because of the awkwardness of the situation. Could you imagine that? "Hey I know we haven't spoken in the past 3 years but I just want to say I'm ok and I hope you all are. I love yall and miss yall. Oh and by the way, the only reason why I'm emailing you is because I keep dreaming about you and your wife, so I just wanted to let you all know that I'm ok and I guess I'll pray for yall too...since I'm not entirely sure why I keep seeing you all. So, BYE!" Yea........not sure that I want to have to contact him about that, but I guess I'd have to if I see that dream again.
I guess the next In Law blog should be about my F-I-L. THAT'S gonna be a hard one! I harbor more anger towards him because I put my trust in him, and I feel that he dropped the ball. He never kept his promise. He failed my wife and I. They told us to trust in them, we did, they failed my wife and I, we got divorced, they are still married.
Why did I learn so much after the divorce? Why did I see more after the divorce? Why was I made stronger after the divorce?
There's so much to forgive and so much to apologize for.
Yall pray that the knowledge of Christ abounds within me. That it flourishes and quickens my spirit, allowing me to be a better man of God, or rather, Son of God.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
The In-Laws- The Mother; 12-27-11
So one of the things I recognize about myself, is that I carry some hurt feelings about my In Laws, more specifically with my Mother and Father. It's easy to remember and focus on the negative than it is to remember and be joyous about the positive. I've got good reasons to be hurt, but at some point, well it just doesn't make sense to always squint my eyes and ball up my fists whenever I think about them. What they did isn't all that they are. They are in general decent people. So I'm intending to start up a small series of positive things about my In Laws. I'd be essentially replacing the hurtful negative with the maturing positive. This one is about my Mother.
There was certain things I could go to or get from each of my In Laws. I could talk ALL DAY with my Mother about recipes.We were always bouncing ideas off of each other. I remember shortly after getting married and in our own place, I wanted to make some salmon patties. I had an idea how to make them, but I couldn't remember how. I had always watched my own Moms, but I figured I could call my new Moms. And I did call her, and yep they turned out great.
I remember the time when I grilled some cornish hens over charcoal. I had one of those tools where you can put a can of beer or soda inside and put the chicken on top of that, grill it, and you've got some good meat. So I'm using that with orange soda, some garlic and some basic seasonings. Grilled it up for maybe 45 minutes, let her try it, and I promise you........we fought. Me and my Moms. As I recall she literally snatched a drumstick right when I cut it up good, problem was it was still in my hand. It was good. I still think on that and smile. That was one of my favorite moments with her.
Then there was the other time when she made a "Better than Sex Cake" (otherwise known as a Mississippi Mud Pie, but I prefer the before mentioned name). GOOD!! That thang there! I don't remember all the details, but as I recall, I was gone at work or school when she made it and I had what was left, and my Brother had some, then some more. Out of all the cakes she's done, that's my favorite. Boy do I miss it! I mean I could very well do it myself, yes. And it would be good. But it wouldn't be the same. Sometimes food tastes better by the person who normally does it.
I remember this angel food cake thing she did. It had like three layers of the angel food cake, and that was separated with layers of a whip cream or cool whip I believe. And she had strawberries and blueberries on top, and maybe within the layers of cream. I remember the white chocolate covered strawberry on top with blueberries. When I ate it, she had just taken a call with her sister. I knew she was on the phone but I decided to tell her it was good. So I walked over and pointed at the cake and maybe gave a thumbs up or something. I wasn't satisfied so I got on the floor and played like I was dead with my tongue out as if to say "It was to die for".
She did make this turkey breast pasta dish that was good. Just regular egg noodles with chunks of turkey breast instead of chicken or beef. But the kicker was that she added I believe orange juice to it and gave it a slight orange flavor. THAT was good!
I wonder if she still has that one drawer FILLED to the brim with recipes? Haha.
I used to pick at her because she always seemed to make things more difficult than what it was. Like a 10 for 10.00 sale at the grocery store. No you don't have to buy all ten items to get that for 1.00. Then when she would finally understand, I'd go get a light bulb and put it over her head. Haha.
I think me and my Moms share similar personality traits. I don't know what word to use really. Soft, humble, meek maybe. Merciful, grace. I don't know. None of those speak to me strongly, they only hint at what I mean.
I miss her and her cooking. Believe me, I know how to cook, and don't mind cooking, and in fact at times, I love cooking. Actually now that I think about it, there is no one and has never been anyone else that I could bounce ideas off of like that when it came to cooking.
I miss her, respect her and I love her.
There was certain things I could go to or get from each of my In Laws. I could talk ALL DAY with my Mother about recipes.We were always bouncing ideas off of each other. I remember shortly after getting married and in our own place, I wanted to make some salmon patties. I had an idea how to make them, but I couldn't remember how. I had always watched my own Moms, but I figured I could call my new Moms. And I did call her, and yep they turned out great.
I remember the time when I grilled some cornish hens over charcoal. I had one of those tools where you can put a can of beer or soda inside and put the chicken on top of that, grill it, and you've got some good meat. So I'm using that with orange soda, some garlic and some basic seasonings. Grilled it up for maybe 45 minutes, let her try it, and I promise you........we fought. Me and my Moms. As I recall she literally snatched a drumstick right when I cut it up good, problem was it was still in my hand. It was good. I still think on that and smile. That was one of my favorite moments with her.
Then there was the other time when she made a "Better than Sex Cake" (otherwise known as a Mississippi Mud Pie, but I prefer the before mentioned name). GOOD!! That thang there! I don't remember all the details, but as I recall, I was gone at work or school when she made it and I had what was left, and my Brother had some, then some more. Out of all the cakes she's done, that's my favorite. Boy do I miss it! I mean I could very well do it myself, yes. And it would be good. But it wouldn't be the same. Sometimes food tastes better by the person who normally does it.
I remember this angel food cake thing she did. It had like three layers of the angel food cake, and that was separated with layers of a whip cream or cool whip I believe. And she had strawberries and blueberries on top, and maybe within the layers of cream. I remember the white chocolate covered strawberry on top with blueberries. When I ate it, she had just taken a call with her sister. I knew she was on the phone but I decided to tell her it was good. So I walked over and pointed at the cake and maybe gave a thumbs up or something. I wasn't satisfied so I got on the floor and played like I was dead with my tongue out as if to say "It was to die for".
She did make this turkey breast pasta dish that was good. Just regular egg noodles with chunks of turkey breast instead of chicken or beef. But the kicker was that she added I believe orange juice to it and gave it a slight orange flavor. THAT was good!
I wonder if she still has that one drawer FILLED to the brim with recipes? Haha.
I used to pick at her because she always seemed to make things more difficult than what it was. Like a 10 for 10.00 sale at the grocery store. No you don't have to buy all ten items to get that for 1.00. Then when she would finally understand, I'd go get a light bulb and put it over her head. Haha.
I think me and my Moms share similar personality traits. I don't know what word to use really. Soft, humble, meek maybe. Merciful, grace. I don't know. None of those speak to me strongly, they only hint at what I mean.
I miss her and her cooking. Believe me, I know how to cook, and don't mind cooking, and in fact at times, I love cooking. Actually now that I think about it, there is no one and has never been anyone else that I could bounce ideas off of like that when it came to cooking.
I miss her, respect her and I love her.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
I spoke with my son this past Monday! 12-22-11
So I'm at home and I've been slaving over the grill with this turkey.
S/N- Y'all missed out on some good bird!
And whilst I'm carving up the bird (a technique I only learned form Youtube within 5 minutes or so), I get a call that says "restricted". So I'm thinking it's my Uncle calling me. Maybe my Aunt. I don't know. I just know that it can't be my son, after all they won't let me have any contact with him. So I say "Helloooo" and the response is "Hi Daddy". So I'm like "Huh? I know someone is messing with me". So I say yet again "Hello?" And response. "Hi Daddy" It was my Little Dude!! We talked for about 30 minutes or so. It was hard hearing/understanding him. I think part way they were driving home and the window was down, then when they got home, She told him to put the phone to his mouth, then there was the fact that he would cross between jibber jabber and clean english, as any kid his age would do. I didn't care. That was my son on the line and I was gonna listen to it all!! Here's what I did understand though. "SANTA CLAUSE DIDN'T GET ME ANYTHING FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!!" Haha. And Him- "Where do you live?" Me- "I live in GA." Him-"I wanna see you in GA Daddy" Yea that one made me feel good.
So here's what's crazy. This fast has been all about me. I'm doing my best to put God first and limit drastically thoughts about my son and Wife. It's not that I don't care for them, but I feel as though I put them before Him to often with my thoughts. Wondering what he's doing, what's he learning, does he miss me, etc... And for her, why won't she let me speak with him, is her mother blocking the calls and not notifying Her that I called for our son, I've only talked to him 4 times this year, why don't I have her number instead of her mother's, I am her Baby Daddy after all, our son is my and her responsibility, etc......Anyway, I've been focusing on God rather than my feeling and emotions of them. It's almost as if I've been rewarded for doing so.
I thank God for hearing. If I couldn't hear, I would not have been able to hear my son say "Daddy", or "I wanna see you in GA".
Y'all be good, and be Christian.
S/N- Y'all missed out on some good bird!
And whilst I'm carving up the bird (a technique I only learned form Youtube within 5 minutes or so), I get a call that says "restricted". So I'm thinking it's my Uncle calling me. Maybe my Aunt. I don't know. I just know that it can't be my son, after all they won't let me have any contact with him. So I say "Helloooo" and the response is "Hi Daddy". So I'm like "Huh? I know someone is messing with me". So I say yet again "Hello?" And response. "Hi Daddy" It was my Little Dude!! We talked for about 30 minutes or so. It was hard hearing/understanding him. I think part way they were driving home and the window was down, then when they got home, She told him to put the phone to his mouth, then there was the fact that he would cross between jibber jabber and clean english, as any kid his age would do. I didn't care. That was my son on the line and I was gonna listen to it all!! Here's what I did understand though. "SANTA CLAUSE DIDN'T GET ME ANYTHING FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!!" Haha. And Him- "Where do you live?" Me- "I live in GA." Him-"I wanna see you in GA Daddy" Yea that one made me feel good.
So here's what's crazy. This fast has been all about me. I'm doing my best to put God first and limit drastically thoughts about my son and Wife. It's not that I don't care for them, but I feel as though I put them before Him to often with my thoughts. Wondering what he's doing, what's he learning, does he miss me, etc... And for her, why won't she let me speak with him, is her mother blocking the calls and not notifying Her that I called for our son, I've only talked to him 4 times this year, why don't I have her number instead of her mother's, I am her Baby Daddy after all, our son is my and her responsibility, etc......Anyway, I've been focusing on God rather than my feeling and emotions of them. It's almost as if I've been rewarded for doing so.
I thank God for hearing. If I couldn't hear, I would not have been able to hear my son say "Daddy", or "I wanna see you in GA".
Y'all be good, and be Christian.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Wisdom and Knowledge 12-14-11
So I was reading like 2 days ago and something stood out. Paul is by far my favorite apostle. To understand where he began, and to follow his transformation, is inspiring and yet instills hope within me.
Ephesians1:17-19
17That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him:
18The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints,
19And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power,
In Ephesians1:17-19, he talks about how he prays for the church in Ephesus, that they get spiritual understanding and maturity. So as I was reading I was like "Oh! OH OH!! THAT'S what I want!!!
Here's what I know.
I've read the new testament over and over and over and over and so on. Yet there is always something that you never caught the first time or third time or what have you. So you are always growing and understanding, in yourself and your spirit. But I believe also, that you just can't get everything the first time. Being a true Christian takes time and hard work. Our understanding is as little kids. We have to kind of grow into understanding.
1 Corinthians 3:1-2
1And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, even as unto babes in Christ.
2I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, neither yet now are ye able.
Anyway, yall be good and be Christian!
Ephesians1:17-19
17That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him:
18The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints,
19And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power,
In Ephesians1:17-19, he talks about how he prays for the church in Ephesus, that they get spiritual understanding and maturity. So as I was reading I was like "Oh! OH OH!! THAT'S what I want!!!
Here's what I know.
I've read the new testament over and over and over and over and so on. Yet there is always something that you never caught the first time or third time or what have you. So you are always growing and understanding, in yourself and your spirit. But I believe also, that you just can't get everything the first time. Being a true Christian takes time and hard work. Our understanding is as little kids. We have to kind of grow into understanding.
1 Corinthians 3:1-2
1And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, even as unto babes in Christ.
2I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, neither yet now are ye able.
Anyway, yall be good and be Christian!
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