Why does it seem as though the ones who screw you over call themselves "saved" and Christian? Why is it that they are the ones who continue to make promises of change, yet revert back to whatever actions they had from before? Why is it that they are the ones looking down on us/you with their heads in the air all prideful, as if they know everything, and what they do is not wrong or of any offense?
Why do I keep forgiving her? Why do I continue to allow her to screw me? And if I have really forgiven her, why do I feel so much anger towards her now?
I long to be near the water, in a foreign country, allowed to be left alone. I'd be surrounded by the chatterings of the birds and the murmur of the waters near me. I'd fish and hunt for food. I'd build my house with my own two hands. I'd be known in the community as an honest and good man, yet no one would dare to bother me out of respect and of the unknown. I wouldn't have a cell phone or any direct line with the outside world. I wouldn't have to deal with my Baby Momma (Ex Wife) and her actions and I'd have to spend the rest of my days dealing with the fact that I more than likely she will never let me be involved in my sons life, whether by phone or letter, or picture, or in a hug.
I'd start over
.
Just me and God.
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